Dorthy and the Tin Man

The other day my wife said we had been invited to a Halloween party. I have never been a fan of Halloween for lots of reasons, one of which is the fact that I am an introvert. I do not generally like groups, crowds or parties. Some of you who know me may be a little surprised and say that you do not think I am an introvert. However, I have always defined an introvert as someone who re-energizes by being alone or with one or two close friends. Even though I have experienced many changes over the years and have been know to speak in front of large groups, I still look forward to some refreshing time alone, before my next group interaction. Anyhow, God has used my wife over the years to change me in many ways. It is by watching her and by gentle prodding of the Holy Spirit that I have become an extrovert by appearance but still an introvert at heart. God impressed on me years ago that my desire to minister to others would not be well served by my focus on so few people. I was allowing my personal preference to affect how many people I would be able to minister to.

So this year when my wife said we were going to a party with lots of people we didn’t know, In an uncharacteristic form I said “Ok!” And I started thinking about how we would dress. This would be the first time, that we would go all out. After thinking about it for a while, I decided I would be Tin Man and she could be Dorthy. I have always enjoyed finding more ways to use duct tape and so I made my outfit with 2 rolls of duct tape, attached in overlapping form to a par of jeans and long sleeve shirt. I then took a funnel and wrapped it in duct tape and did the same for some old shoes. The outfit turned out really great and so did the evening. We got to spend some time at that party in ministry conversation with a young couple that had been dating for a while and contemplating marriage. This conversation was God’s message to me that all I need to do is show up and He would provide the ministry opportunities. By the way, I have found that I can be very energized in a group setting if I get the opportunity to have some meaningful ministry focused conversation with someone else in the group. In past years I would have missed out on this type of ministry, simply because I call myself an introvert.

I am pleased to say that Dorthy has given me a new heart. I have become much more like her in the last 16 years. God sent her to me and it is because of her that others have been helped, encouraged and ministered to. God knew what I needed when he brought her into my life. I am so much better of a man and minister than I ever would have been with out her.

It is so easy for us to reject the ways of others and to allow our predefined identity to keep us from what God wants. He wants to use us and there is no room for the excuses of the introvert. Its OK if you are an introvert. This only means that you will always be energized and refreshed by solitude or quality time with a few special people. But its not OK to use this as a defense against what God has called all of us to do and that is to GO into all the world, first to the party in your neighborhood and then to the rest of the world. He wants us to tell everyone we see and meet that He is God and that He loves us and understands us, because He is our Creator.

Just in case you extroverts think your going to get away so easily, let me say that you can sometimes focus a little too much on the numbers of people you talk to at the party and not enough on the quality of conversation. The job God calls us to every where, every day is to look for opportunities to plant seeds that will grow into a desire to know God better. Every conversation does not need to include a full salvation plan, but there should be seeds planted.

Now back to the topic of Dorthy and the Tin Man, I am sure I am not alone when I say that it really takes a conscious effort to use the new heart we have been given and to pursue the understanding of our Dorthy. It is natural to want to stay the way we are and to see the differences as negative. We have to really work at seeing the differences as God’s design for unity. It seems to often cause the opposite of unity, but that is because we resist the change. We like who we are and we fight to stay that way.

I used to like going to the same place for vacation, the same restaurant or even like to sit in the same place at church. But God gave me a wife that does not like to go to the same places. We have had some of both over the years, but I have to say that there are so many things I have experienced that I never would have, if not for my wife. I am so thankful now looking back, so much so that I may have completely transformed in that area of my life, because of my wife. We often think that we are giving something up when we consider others before ourselves, but in reality life is more fulfilling when we open our hearts and allow God to use our spouses to change us.

If God wanted us to define ourselves and then stay that way then why does it seem that almost every married couple I know is completely opposite in personality. Why do you think we are attracted to opposite personalities if we are so happy with who we are. And why is it that once we are married to that opposite personality, we try so hard to change them. The attraction is by God’s design and change is the purpose, however, fights occur when we focus on changing the other instead of truly falling in love and desiring to be changed ourselves. It is true love that wants to imitate or become like the other.

So many books and studies have been done that focus on defining our differences and I believe they are very helpful to a point. If it helps us to understand how to love the other better, then the goal is accomplished. But if it becomes a defining and immovable structure of who you are then, you have missed the point. I have also seen these books do the opposite of what they were intended for. Instead of being helpful for understanding our spouses better I have seen them used to create a sort of measuring stick of our own self centered desires. I have seen some use it as a way of keeping a record of wrongs of their spouse.

My challenge to you is to embrace the differences, step out of your comfort zone, God wants to use you today.

Tin Man could have never survived with out Dorthy. She helped him find his heart. Are you helping your spouse find theirs?

Pictures of Dorthy and Tin Man may be seen on my facebook page.

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs094.snc3/16133_167401337011_612857011_2950835_5839379_n.jpg

Read with Me!